Monday 28 September, 2020

St Lucia is not a real place: Minibus shenanigans

A minibus ride in St Lucia is like watching an entire movie or sitcom unfolding. There is always humor, drama and unusual things happening which leaves one to wonder, is St Lucia a real place?

Minibuses travel to and from most routes in St Lucia.

As such, most of us have experienced riding the bus in one way or the other.

Here’s what a typical Lucian bus ride entails:

  •  The person sitting next to the door sometimes doesn't want to open or close it.


  • Most times people who enter the bus greet everyone. Sometimes the greeting is not reciprocated.


  • Lucians are inquisitive. If you’re on your phone whilst on the bus, the person sitting behind or next to you is always trying to find out who you’re texting.


  • The most famous part of a local bus ride is having to endure people who stink or have bad breath on the bus. The unhygienic ones always have their arms up or speak the most throughout the ride.
  • People shouting “stopping here” or “give me a stop here driver” in non-bus stop areas. When the driver refuses to stop they complain.


  • The most annoying thing is when someone who is stopping before you goes all the way to the back of the bus. When they reach their destination, everyone must get off the bus to allow them to get out. You could never finish hearing “chups” from passengers.


  • Drivers are always speeding and entering potholes causing everything inside of your body to shake. Usually when the drivers start speeding or overtaking on the corners, there is always one person who would say “driver take it easy”, “driver we not in a hurry” or “driver put me down.”


  • Drivers quarreling when you pay them with a $100 note. Most times, short route drivers especially, don’t have change in the mornings and they get mad because that would automatically mean a free ride for the passenger. In some instances the driver gives them their change in coins or fives.


  • Drivers overloading buses. Always want to give someone a ‘squeeze.’


  • People look for money to pay the driver after they get off the bus. Most times they go through their entire bag before they can find the money and when they do, it’s always a ‘big money’ that the driver has to find change for.


  • In most buses, the seats are squeaky, untidy and always have a piece of iron sticking out to tear your clothes.


  • Small children don’t usually pay bus fares. As a result, the drivers either have them sit on their parents, or sandwich then between two adults.


  • Drivers get angry when passengers eat on their bus. I must admit some drivers take good care of their buses. Their buses are always neat and smell good, so I don’t blame them sometimes when they refuse to allow people to eat on their bus.


  • People sitting by the windows always want to have them closed because they don’t want their hair or eyelashes to fly or the windows to allow too much air inside.


  • Moody bus drivers who take on any random speech even when it's not directed at them.


  • People attacking other people on buses.


  • New COVID-19 protocols have been put in place for drivers and passengers. In some cases, passengers refuse to wear masks and in others bus drivers do not adhere to the protocols which usually results in a controversy between passengers and drivers.


  • People releasing silent farts on the bus causing everyone to block their noses


  • Heavy people always want to occupy the smallest seats on the bus which most times aggravates the drivers because the seats cannot stand the extra weight.

These are just some of the popular Lucian bus ride experiences. If you know of any other things which are not mentioned in this article, feel free to comment.

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